What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What is the best way to get over your ex?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What makes you feel guilty the most?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

TEXT:

Why are Republicans such intolerant people?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How can targeted individuals protect themselves from organized stalking? Have you discovered practical strategies?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What sexual experience did you have at a highway rest area?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...